A Snape Kind of Summer
by PadfootOldBuddyOldPal
Summary: What will happen when Harry is told he has to spend the summer with Snape and McGonagall, with only Ron's little sister for company?
1. Breaking the News

A/N - This is my second Harry Potter fic, so I'm none too experienced. I think my first one was a bit of a shambles, so I'm taking more care with this one. I'm already enjoying writing it, and I intend to have a lot of fun with it. Muahahahahaha....  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter world, JK Rowling owns it all. Pity.  
  
A Snape Kind of Summer  
  
Chapter 1 - Breaking the News  
  
Harry pinched himself. Hard. It had to be a dream, it had to. No, a nightmare, that's what it was. Dumbledore couldn't be serious.  
  
"Spend the summer with Snape?" Harry muttered incredulously "Snape? Of all the witches and wizards in the world, why him?"  
  
Harry hadn't even read past the first paragraph yet, but he could tell already that he didn't like where this was going. He read, and re-read the first paragraph, trying to find another explanation without having to read the horrors that surely lay ahead. Snape? Harry just couldn't get over it. Surely Dumbledore knew how much they hated each other? But then, that was probably why he was doing it. Albus Dumbledore, although he was the greatest sorcerer of all time, could sometimes come up with the most hare-brained ideas.  
  
Deciding that he wanted to find out either way, Harry scribbled a note on the back of the parchment to Sirius.  
  
The previous week, Harry had received a letter from Sirius telling him that he'd been made a teacher. Defense Against the Dark Arts. So he would definitely know if something was going on.  
  
Dear Sirius, I have just received a highly disturbing owl from Dumbledore, saying that I had to spend the rest of the Summer with Snape. I suspect that you know full well what is going on, so please enlighten me. If you think that I am going to spend the rest of my summer with no one but the walls (and a cranky old vampire, but the less said about him, the better) to talk to, then you are sorely mistaken. I refuse to stay in the same building as Snape, as I'm sure would you. I have had enough torture over the past four years as it is, and even Voldemort was not cruel enough to even suggest this. I have nothing more to say to you, other than I'm sure you get the message. I shall not stay in anything other than extreme distance from that 'evil git' as you yourself refer to him as. Your (soon to be ex, if you are not careful) Godson, Harry  
  
Calling Hedwig, Harry picked himself up from the lawn of Number 4 Privet Drive. Looking around, he started to think.  
  
Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. It's not as if Snape would like this any more than he did...if not less so. He would probably completely ignore him.  
  
As Hedwig swooped down, Harry tied his letter to the bird's leg.  
  
"Not much different to how things are now, then," Harry mused. "At least I would be able to do my homework while I was there."  
  
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"Sirius..." Dumbledore warned.  
  
"No!" Sirius yelled back. "How could you not tell me? Harry should not have to go through with this! He shouldn't have to hide away! Especially with him! I have nothing against the man, Albus, but he is hardly one of Harry's best friends! And for a year! A whole year! Even with Minerva there, Harry will need someone his own age to keep his sanity!"  
  
Dumbledore sighed.  
  
"Which is precisely why I asked Miss Weasley to accompany him. She is well advanced for her age, and could easily catch up with the work Harry will be tutored on." Dumbledore said, gently trying to persuade Sirius that it was the best thing for Harry.  
  
"But you are still putting him in hiding! He should not have to go through with that! He is too young, he has already had to grow up far too fast for his own good, this would only worsen the problem, Albus, you know it would!" Sirius ran a frustrated hand through his hair, making it look very much like Harry's tended to: stuck up in all directions.  
  
"Sirius, it is those experiences that have made him who he is now. And surely you can see that he would be safer there. I'm sure that you could visit every now and again, also. If you said you were Severus' brother..." Dumbledore trailed off at the furious glare his Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was giving him. "Or, possibly, Minerva's. A glamour charm could fix you up for that. And Harry would have enough company with Miss Weasley there, you know that. You're just grasping at straws."  
  
Sirius sighed.  
  
"I know I am, Albus, but I've only just been cleared. To have Harry taken away from me now is doing my head in. He's like a son to me..." Sirius sighed again, then relented. "Fine. But please talk to him first, or he'll never go. He already sent me a rather...er...angry owl about it. Heck, he'll be furious with me, now. Well, you shall have to take full responsibility for this decision. I will not be treated like a traitor for the rest of my days for this, OK? I will not." Sirius sat down defiantly.  
  
Dumbledore chuckled.  
  
"You have my word, Professor Black," Dumbledore saluted jokingly. "And now to speak with Miss Weasley...would you call Harry? It would make sense to tell them together."  
  
"Oh, yes, that reminds me. Why Ginny?" Sirius asked curiously. "This isn't one of your Lily and James tricks, is it?" Sirius looked suspiciously at Dumbledore. "I've only ever heard Harry talk about her as a friend, you know...a lot mind you...maybe you'd be better putting Harry in with Ron, or someone...I dunno if Harry's ready to be a Dad yet..."  
  
Dumbledore chuckled.  
  
"As you said, Sirius," Dumbledore stated. "They consider each other as friends, and nothing more." Dumbledore said this sincerely enough, but as he turned to floo The Burrow, the twinkle in his eye suggested otherwise.  
  
As Sirius left the headmaster's office o fetch Harry, Dumbledore smiled to himself.  
  
"I wonder if this will prove as effective as last time...I do hope so," Dumbledore's smile turned mischievous. "For that was so much fun...Ah, Molly. I wonder if I could speak to your daughter...here, if at all possible."  
  
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Harry headed to answer the door with a sigh.  
  
This would probably be another of Dudley's friends, coming over to help him taunt Harry.  
  
He reached out for the handle, and pulled the door open.  
  
Harry gasped.  
  
"Sirius!" Harry cried. "What in Merlin's name are you doing here?"  
  
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A/N: Please, review, even if it is to criticize. If you don't I don't know what I've done wrong, so it wont improve much (don't feel obliged to criticize though...!) I will rep[ly to all reviews in my next chapter, which should be up tomorrow.  
  
Review! 


	2. Family Conferences

A/N - Second chapter up!!! Whew, it took me ages to finish this one. Had a lot to fit into it. Enjoy...(after the disclaimer and thanks!)  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter world, JK Rowling owns it all. Pity.  
  
Huge thank yous to Saerelle and Bookwyrm for reviewing! I got this up as fast as I could!  
  
A Snape Kind of Summer  
  
Chapter 2 - Family Conferences  
  
"Sirius!" Harry cried. "What in Merlin's name are you doing here?"  
  
"I've come to take you to-" Sirius began.  
  
"No! I will not go! I told you I wouldn't, and I wont. I am not spending my Summer there. No way." Harry crossed his arms resolutely.  
  
"Harry..." Sirius tried again. "I'm not going to take you to Snape's...I promise you that you will never have to enter the slime-balls house if you don't want to, but I'm not here for that. I'm taking you to Hogwarts."  
  
"Hogwarts? Term has only just finished! I'm not spending my Summer there, am I?"  
  
"No, Harry," Sirius replied. "Dumbledore needs to talk to you."  
  
"If it's about-"  
  
"Harry! No one's going to force you to do anything! And about that lovely owl you sent me, I had no idea what Dumbledore had planned. He hadn't told me! So don't you start having a go at me, I was the one that barged in there and had a fat go at Dumbledore, so I suggest you stop blaming me!"  
  
"Oops," Harry muttered. "I just thought you'd know...being my godfather and all..."  
  
"I think that's why he didn't tell me," Sirius replied thoughtfully. "And with all the history with me and Snape...Merlin, I don't know why I was even surprised now...anyway, you have to come with me to Hogwarts, with all of your stuff packed. DON'T ask me why, I have no idea..." Sirius lied.  
  
"Alright," Harry sighed, re-entering the house. "Give me a minute..."  
  
"Boy? Who is that at the door? If it's another salesman you can tell him to shove off!" called uncle Vernon from the lounge.  
  
"No, it's not a salesman," stated Harry. "It's my godfather, Sirius. He's going to take me to Hogwarts, now, so see you next summer...maybe."  
  
Uncle Vernon froze.  
  
"You mean that there is someone else...like you in this house?" He spat viciously.  
  
"Yep!" said Harry. "My godfather, I told you...remember him? The convicted one. You remember!" Urged Harry, waiting for his uncle's reaction when he inevitably did remember.  
  
It was worth the wait. The colour instantly drained from his uncle's face, and he started to tremble ever so slightly.  
  
"Get....out..." he managed. "Now! Or I shall make you!"  
  
Heaving his stuff out from under the stairs, Harry raised an eyebrow. He pulled out his wand.  
  
"How do you plan to do that, then?" asked Harry innocently.  
  
"Harry..." warned Sirius from the door.  
  
"Don't worry," said Harry, putting his wand into his trunk. "I wasn't planning on using it."  
  
Harry and Sirius heaved Harry's things out of the door, and let Hedwig out of her cage.  
  
"You'll know where to find me," said Harry. "It would probably be an uncomfortable journey, so you'd do better to fly."  
  
Hedwig hooted her thanks, and took off. Harry looked across at Sirius.  
  
"How are we going to get there?" he asked. "Do you have a portkey?"  
  
Sirius nodded.  
  
"It's one of those ones that you can set the time after you've made it, just in case you take longer than planned," he replied. "Hold on to this, if we go around the back, no muggles will spot us."  
  
Harry and Sirius walked around to the Dursleys' back garden, clutching a crisp packet. Harry couldn't help but remember the last time he had used a portkey. It sent shivers down his spine to think about it.  
  
"Ok, here we go..." Sirius muttered a few choice words under his breath.  
  
Harry felt the familiar tug behind his navel, and Privet Drive slowly faded away. A few seconds later, Harry and Sirius hit the ground with a loud thump.  
  
Harry just managed to hold himself up, though he teetered very precariously as he regained his balance.  
  
"Erm...Sirius?" Harry asked. "Where are we?"  
  
"We are just outside the boundaries of Hogwarts. There are wards around the castle to stop anyone from just portkeying in. With timed ones, you can let the wards flicker for a second to let someone in, but with these you have to arrive outside the premises." Sirius explained, walking towards a large door.  
  
Sirius muttered a password under his breath, then Harry and Sirius walked through. Harry suddenly realized where he was.  
  
"The Quidditch pitch!" Harry cried. "I never knew that that entrance was there," he said, looking around.  
  
"No, very few people do. You mustn't tell anyone. It isn't even on the Marauder's Map."  
  
Harry stared. It was really that secret?  
  
"Only chosen people can see the door, and Dumbledore added you to the list this morning," Sirius told Harry. "Come on, let's go and find Dumbledore."  
  
The pair headed up to the castle, and a few minutes later found themselves knocking on the door to Dumbledore's office.  
  
"Come in," said Dumbledore, from inside.  
  
When they entered, Harry was surprised to see that there were other people in there as well.  
  
Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape and a girl with red hair were sitting in chairs in front of the desk. The girl turned around when she heard them enter, and Harry realized who it was.  
  
"Ginny?"  
  
Harry was bewildered. It struck him as ominous that Ginny was there. What did she have to do with what's going on? Was it about the Chamber of Secrets? Was there another heir?  
  
"It's nothing sinister, Mr Potter," Dumbledore said, twinkling down at him. "I just wanted to call a family conference."  
  
Harry could tell that he wasn't the only one surprised by this pronouncement.  
  
Professor Snape jumped up from his chair, McGonagall looked like she might just start banging her head on the wall Dobby-style, and Ginny just looked downright confused.  
  
"Er...what?" she asked. "A family conference? None of our families are here... what do you mean?"  
  
Harry had a sneaking suspicion that he knew exactly what Dumbledore meant, and he turned to Sirius.  
  
"Remember your promise," Harry warned.  
  
Dumbledore seemed to find all this very amusing, and he sat back into his chair, watching everyone's reactions.  
  
Minerva was edging away from Severus, who looked very much like he was about to Avada Kedavra the next person to speak. Ginny still looked confused, but she was looking at Dumbledore for answers. Harry was glaring daggers at Sirius, who looked plain astounded that Dumbledore had just told them like that.  
  
"Enlighten us to what you mean, exactly, when you say 'family'? I have no family, which you know very well," Severus said, coldly.  
  
"I believe I should explain," said Dumbledore, fighting the urge to laugh at Severus' snort that clearly said: 'You think?'. "As you all know, Voldemort's power is strengthening," Minerva and Severus flinched at the name. "and Harry, Ginny and Severus are all prime targets for attack. You are not safe here, any longer, so arrangements are being made to put all four of you into hiding. Minerva, you are there for appearances sake.  
  
"The ministry have traced a lot of dark magic back to a wizarding family in Cambridge, and they are looking for some people to pose as a family to find out more information, as the family has no record of suspicion or otherwise, and I'm sure you'll all agree that it makes sense to kill two birds with one stone.  
  
"You are not being forced into this, but I would strongly suggest it. Now you know the main facts, I need your answer."  
  
There was a few moments silence, until Ginny said:  
  
"I'll go. If it helps the ministry, then I suppose it needs to be done."  
  
Minerva nodded her agreement.  
  
"If you think we should Albus, Merlin knows, it is bound to be the sensible thing to do."  
  
"I agree," said Harry. "If it that important, then we have to go, I suppose."  
  
Severus made no motion to answer.  
  
"Severus?" Dumbledore asked. "Can I trust you with this? I know I have had you no a different mission before now, but I think he knows. This would be safest for everyone."  
  
Snape scowled.  
  
"I suppose, that regardless of what you say, I have no choice in the matter. Fine. I'll go."  
  
Dumbledore beamed.  
  
"Er...professor," said Ginny. "You haven't told us how long we are to stay there for. A week? Two weeks?"  
  
Sirius shifted uncomfortably in the background, and Harry noticed.  
  
"Sirius..." he warned. "You know something..."  
  
Dumbledore chuckled.  
  
"He does, and I am afraid that this is quite a long term project."  
  
"Well," said Minerva. "We'll have to be back for the start of term..."  
  
"That is not necessary," said Dumbledore. "I have found you both replacements for the year, for that is how long you shall have to stay. Minerva, Severus, you will be tutoring Harry and Ginny together, I believe Miss Weasley can cope with that, and while one of you is tutoring, the other can be keeping an eye on the wizard family."  
  
Everyone in the room apart from Dumbledore and Sirius sat in stunned silence.  
  
"So let me get this straight...we are posing as a wizarding family...for a year...because Fudge says so...and we are expected not to rip each other's throats out?" Snape asked incredulously. "Impossible!"  
  
"Not quite..." said Dumbledore.  
  
"You mean we can rip each other's throats out?" Minerva asked, looking cautiously at Severus as she spoke.  
  
Dumbledore smiled.  
  
"I am afraid not, Minerva," he said, his voice full of laughter. "Severus was wrong on the account that you will not be posing as a wizard family, you will be posing as a muggle family."  
  
There were a few moments of silence, then Snape spoke.  
  
"Please tell me that you are joking," he said, sounding uncharacteristically desperate.  
  
"Am I the sort of person ho would joke?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
Everyone looked at him.  
  
"Yes," said Ginny.  
  
"Well, maybe I am, but would I joke about something like this?"  
  
Still, everyone looked at him.  
  
"You probably would, Albus," said Minerva.  
  
"Well, believe me, I'm not this time," Dumbledore chuckled.  
  
Snape sighed.  
  
"When are we to leave? Next week?" he asked, fearing the answer.  
  
"Tonight," Dumbledore replied.  
  
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A/N: Did you like it? Please review! The next chapter should be up later today! 


	3. Laying Down the Rules

A/N - Third chapter up, folks! I hope you like it!  
  
Thanks to russell, MK and The Brainless Wonder for reviewing my second chapter! It makes it so much easier to write if you have feedback!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter world, JK Rowling owns it all. Pity.  
  
A Snape Kind of Summer  
  
Chapter 3 - Laying Down the Rules  
  
"So, are you all packed and ready?" Dumbledore asked, far too cheerfully in everyone else's opinion. All four nodded their consent, albeit a little reluctantly. "Well then, all remains is for me to alter your appearances so you all look similar."  
  
"Ex-excuse me?" Snape stuttered out. "Alter our appearances? Absolutely not! You must be joking!"  
  
"I do believe that we already established that I am not joking, did we not, Severus? Now really, it would be insulting people's intelligence to expect them to believe that you are all related, not to mention the fact that you will be recognized. Every single one of you has a distinct feature about yourself that would certainly be recognized by the wizarding family you are supposed to be spying on. Minerva, would you like to go first?"  
  
Minerva's lips thinned, but she came forward obediently.  
  
With a flick of his wand, Dumbledore softened the professor's facial features, and lightened her raven hair slightly. Like this, she looked remarkably like Sirius.  
  
"Severus?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
Snape exhaled heavily, but stepped forward none the less.  
  
Again, Dumbledore flicked his wand, and (to Harry, Ginny and Sirius' amusement) Severus' nose shrunk, and his hair lightened to a sandy blonde. The difference really was startling. Then, Dumbledore muttered under his breath, and the scowl of disdain vanished from Snape's face.  
  
"We can't have you looking like that when surrounded by your family now, can we?" Dumbledore smiled serenely. Everyone burst out laughing, and Harry got the distinct impression that Snape was trying to scowl. His lips seemed to be twitching. This made Harry laugh even harder. "Harry?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
Harry stepped forward, cautiously. He was starting to feel slightly apprehensive. He hoped that Dumbledore wouldn't make any drastic changes.  
  
Harry felt Dumbledore swish his wand by his ear, and then he felt his face start to wriggle. It really was a bizarre feeling.  
  
Once Harry felt the movement stop, he glanced into the mirror Dumbledore had set up to his left.  
  
Harry could have pulled his wand out and hexed Dumbledore into next week, but he decided that that might seem immature. Dumbledore probably found this very funny indeed.  
  
Harry's scar had vanished, but Harry had not been at all surprised by that. That would have immediately given away his identity had it not been removed.  
  
The problem was the rest of the changes.  
  
Harry's hair was sandy blonde, and his green eyes turned blue. He had grown a few inches as well, he noticed. It wasn't even the look that really bothered him...  
  
"Well, if it isn't mini-Snape," smirked Sirius.  
  
That. That was the problem. Harry glared at his godfather. Then at Dumbledore.  
  
"Harry," Ginny said, repressing a smile. "Glaring at everyone isn't helping the cause any..."  
  
True. Harry immediately stopped glaring.  
  
"Actually, it is different if he glares...you don't see Snape glaring, now, do you?" Sirius smirked at Severus, who tried in vain to glare back, but the spell of Dumbledore's wouldn't allow it.  
  
"We really must get on," said Dumbledore. "So I believe that it is your turn, Miss Weasley."  
  
Ginny stepped forward, and Harry noticed that she looked excited rather than nervous. He couldn't understand why. Ginny was naturally very pretty already, with her fiery red hair, and pale complexion. Not that Harry would ever admit to thinking that about Ron's sister. He'd never live it down.  
  
Dumbledore waved his wand, and Ginny's hair turned a dark brown colour, and her skin tanned. The freckles that dotted her nose were still there, but there were far fewer of them.  
  
Harry suddenly realized, with a jolt of surprise and amusement, that she could easily pass as Sirius' daughter, she looked almost exactly like him.  
  
Which reminded him. He still had to kill Sirius for not telling him about this.  
  
Spending a whole year with Snape, and having to call him 'Dad' was almost too much for Harry to bear. He would have refused to, apart from both Ginny and McGonagall had agreed, and Harry didn't want to make a big fuss if no one else was.  
  
And anyway, Fred and George had created some brilliant new jokes that needed to be tested, and seeing as Dumbledore had put a spell on all four of them that meant they could not harm each other, this would be a perfect opportunity.  
  
Harry realized that he had an evil grin in place, and quickly removed it, but Ginny had seen. She looked at him questioningly.  
  
"I'll tell you later," he muttered in her ear. "This might not be so bad after all..."  
  
Ginny raised an eyebrow. She looked as if she had a fair idea of what Harry had planned.  
  
"Now, before you go, I will remind you that you are to call each other with the appropriate names. Harry will be referred to as 'Harry' at all times. I'm sure you all understand that it would be very foolish to refer to him as 'Potter'," Dumbledore looked at Snape. "Especially as your surname is now 'Smith'."  
  
"Very original," muttered Snape.  
  
"And Ginny will be called by her first name at all times. Minerva and Severus will have to refer to each other as 'Millie' and 'Steve'." Dumbledore continued as if he had not heard Snape's comment.  
  
Ginny giggled at the professors' muggle-translated names.  
  
"And both Ginny and Harry will refer to their parents as 'Mum' and 'Dad'. Is that understood?" The four nodded, and Sirius cleared his throat.  
  
"Where do I come in to all this?" he asked. "I mean, if I visit..."  
  
"Your name is Ross Black, and you are Minerva's brother. Between you all you will have to develop your family history, like when you got married, other family, birthdays, and so on. You can decide this when you arrive at the cottage. I will accompany you there to get you settled, but then I will only see you when you are out. You will also have to find yourselves muggle jobs - Minerva, I believe you took a muggle Degree, did you not?" Minerva nodded. "Then you will probably earn the main income. I am afraid that we cannot pay your bills for you, so you will have to earn the money. It would also raise too many questions if you changed wizard money into muggle money, so you will have a month to get sorted. That is when this payment runs out."  
  
Minerva bit her lip.  
  
"And...what if we can't?" she asked. "Will we have to move somewhere smaller?" Dumbledore nodded. "And it will have to be nearby...this may be quite tricky. We will have to start looking first thing tomorrow..."  
  
"Well, it's getting late, so we really ought to go. Sirius, are you coming?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"I think so," Sirius replied. "I want to bag my guest room...kidding!" he added at Harry and Ginny's furious looks. "You get first choice, of course..."  
  
"Ooh, thanks Uncle Ross!" Ginny teased.  
  
"Come, we will floo from Hogsmeade to the cottage. The cottage is connected to the floo network, but only for tonight. The old wizarding family that used to live there will take it off first thing tomorrow, because they think that a group of muggles are moving in. Once you are in, you must understand that you may have no contact with the wizarding world at all. Not even an owl. Do you understand?"  
  
Severus, or Steve as he now was, sighed deeply.  
  
"You are intent on driving us all mad, aren't you?" he asked Dumbledore accusingly.  
  
"Naturally," chuckled Dumbledore. "Now let's be off."  
  
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A/N: Next chapter up tomorrow! You'll find out everyone's reactions to the cottage, and the first few days of living there! I am hoping to get chapter 5 up as well, but my other story needs to be updated, too!  
  
Please review! 


	4. Settling In

A/N - Here's the fourth chapter...sorry it took so long, I've been busy with Mother's Day duties *sighs*. Ah, well. I'm back now!  
  
I'm going to start replying to each individual review, because it is less confusing for me, so here goes:  
  
Keaton Black - Glad you like it! I will keep updating as often as possible!  
  
CassandrAIarwen - Yes ma'am! I plan to have a lot of fun with Snape in particular, in regards to living as a muggle. I hope you like it!  
  
SNdReAmer - You're right, I hadn't actually thought of doing a prequel, but it might be fun! I think I will do that!  
  
epholge - Thanks!  
  
Mikee - I was considering having them at muggle schools, but then they wouldn't have any time to practice their magic. I think they will just have to say that they are home-tutored. What do you think?  
  
lauren booth - I'm glad you like the idea!  
  
MK - Second review! You rock! Thanks! And Minerva has to be really - can you imagine having to rely on Snape in a muggle job to put food on the table?!  
  
Lady Cassandra Skywalker - The pranks are probably the most fun bit to write, so I intend to think up some really evil ones to play on Snape, and some good retaliations...maybe Snape has a few tricks up his sleeves...and I have a real big plot coming that will be all too brilliant revenge for Snape!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter world, JK Rowling owns it all. Pity.  
  
A Snape Kind of Summer  
  
Chapter 4 - Settling In  
  
"Wow," breathed Ginny. "It's beautiful!"  
  
Harry, Snape and Sirius shook their heads as Ginny and Minerva admired the small cottage. Harry had to admit that it was nice.  
  
It was fairly large, slightly larger than the one next to it. It had a thatched roof, and honeysuckle crept up the front and back walls of the house. It really was like a traditional English cottage, Harry decided. And to his surprise, a car was parked down the side of the house.  
  
"Erm...professor?" Harry asked. "Why do we have a car? I mean, can any of us drive?"  
  
Minerva turned to Harry.  
  
"I learnt when I was at muggle university," she said. "I thought it could be useful if I was ever in the muggle world."  
  
"Good thinking," commented Ginny. "I would never have thought to prepare myself like that."  
  
Minerva smiled.  
  
"It wasn't actually my idea, my father suggested it, because he had been forced to live in the muggle world at one point, so he could keep an eye on my cousin, who was under threat from Death Eaters at the time. I only really did it because I wanted the experience. And it was an awful lot of fun, that's for certain." Minerva smiled wistfully. "Anyway, shall we go in?"  
  
The group stepped into the cottage, and found that it was just as pleasant on the inside, with the same traditional country home style as the exterior.  
  
Harry and Ginny leaped upstairs to get the best rooms. Ten seconds later they both came down again, hands on hips and glaring at Dumbledore.  
  
"I thought we were going to get our own rooms?" Ginny scowled. "I didn't think we'd have to share!"  
  
"It is necessary that you share, so that you can do magic in your rooms. The only rooms that you will be able to do untraceable magic are in your rooms, and in the cellar." Dumbledore said seriously. "The whole project will be ruined if you use magic anywhere else. Do you all understand?" Everyone nodded. "Then I shall be off - good luck! I will see you all next year!" With a jovial wave, Dumbledore stepped out of the back door, then vanished from sight.  
  
"I think we ought to all unpack, then meet downstairs to discuss our family history, and such." Minerva said, a hint of her professor's voice traceable. "Sirius, I expect that you will have to share with Harry and Ginny, so if you sort out the beds in that room, and unpack some things then you can leave them here for when you drop by. We will have to go shopping for muggle clothing tomorrow, because robes that have been transfigured will only stay like that for 24 hours, and we really need something more permanent if we are staying here for a year. So come back down in half an hour, and we shall have a family discussion, OK?"  
  
Agreeing, they all set off for their respective rooms.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Honestly, what is it with women and being so romantic? So, we got married 15 years ago, on November 30th, in Greece?" Snape asked Minerva. "Wouldn't we have been a bit young then?"  
  
"Well, if we are both 41 now, then that would have made us both 26 when we were married. That's not that young, really, is it?" she asked.  
  
"No, I suppose not," Severus agreed. "Right, so Harry and Virginia are both 15, and were both born on 15th February, 1981. They are twins, then? OK, so as far as their education is concerned, we teach them from home. We are both currently unemployed, but are in search of work. We have been living in Portugal for the past 5 years, and we've just inherited enough money to move back to England. We will have to check the...the...newsparchment, was it?"  
  
"Newspaper," Harry corrected him, stifling a laugh.  
  
"Well, whatever. We will have to check it for jobs tomorrow after we have been shopping." Severus continued. "And on that subject, do you know how we are to afford the clothes?"  
  
"Well, Dumbledore has set us up a muggle account, which should be enough, but we will still have to get an income soon," Minerva said. "If we came here with too much money, then it would seem suspicious. If we have just been able to afford to come back to England, then we would hardly be loaded."  
  
"So, where are we going shopping," Ginny asked. "Have you decided yet?"  
  
"Well," said Minerva thoughtfully. "There is a muggle shopping mall about 20 minutes drive from here, so it would make sense to go there, really."  
  
"Ok," said Sirius. "Now we've got our family history sorted, I'll be off. I'll see you all soon, probably. Bye!"  
  
Everyone waved goodbye to Sirius, then Minerva spoke.  
  
"I think we should all go to bed, now, it's getting very late. Remember, that as of now, we are to use our new names. Over-night, all anti- apparition wards and secrecy spells will be removed, so anyone could be listening, even here. Goodnight, I will see you all in the morning."  
  
"Night, Mum," said Harry and Ginny, feeling extremely odd calling their strict Transfiguration professor 'Mum'.  
  
"Night Millie, Ginny, Harry," said Snape, wincing slightly as if it was causing him pain to be so informal.  
  
"Night...Dad," Harry and Ginny both said to Snape. This would prove to be challenging, for certain.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Harry?" Ginny asked. "What exactly do you have planned for Sna - Dad? Remember that you have to be careful, they can't show that you've done you- know-what..."  
  
"I know," Harry grinned evilly. "But even muggles have good ideas for pranks, you know..."  
  
"Harry..." Ginny warned. "What have you done?"  
  
"Oh, let's just say that Dad's breakfast should be very...tasty..."  
  
Ginny giggled.  
  
"You'd better hope he doesn't have a retaliation!" she said.  
  
"What, Dad? Never!" Harry said confidently. "He couldn't pull a decent prank to save his life..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Steve!" hissed McGonagall. "For Goodness' sake, go to sleep!"  
  
"You can't tell me what to do!" Snape hissed back. "And I'm not tired!"  
  
"Well, you could at least lie still, instead of rolling around!"  
  
"Why? It's not my fault we have to share a bloody bed! I didn't specifically ask for it, you know!"  
  
"I never said you did! Just lie still! And stop being so childish and just go to sleep!"  
  
The couple heard a giggle sound from the next room.  
  
"Am I the only person in this house with any sense?" Minerva asked no one in particular. "We have to get up early tomorrow to go shopping!"  
  
"Well why didn't you say so?" asked Snape, immediately settling down.  
  
"I did," muttered McGonagall. "Idiot."  
  
"Oh, shut up," muttered Snape.  
  
"No! I will not! You are so rude!"  
  
"Don't be so prissy!"  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
"Are."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Are."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Are."  
  
"Oh, for heavens' sake! Just go to sleep!"  
  
Ten minutes later, the house was silent, and all of the occupants were fast asleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N - This will drag on too long if I add their next day, so that is all coming up in chapter 5. I am hoping to get that up later today, so keep your eyes peeled!  
  
Review, please! 


	5. A Shopping Trip

A/N - I decided to upload the next chapter straight off, so all reviews for chapter 4 will be replied to in chapter 6.  
  
Culf - I'm not a real fan, exactly. I just liked that line! Don't worry, though! Snape will get his revenge!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter world, JK Rowling owns it all. Pity. And I think I have to say that Debenhams is a trademark store.  
  
A Snape Kind of Summer  
  
Chapter 5 - A Shopping Trip  
  
"Harry! Ginny! Come on, you should have been up ages ago!" Minerva called up the stairs.  
  
"Coming, Mum!" Ginny yelled. "Harry!" There was a loud thump. Minerva and Snape winced. "Get up, lazy!"  
  
"Ouch!" Harry yelled. "You're vicious, you know that?"  
  
"Yes," Ginny replied. "I am well aware of that. Now get up, or we'll be there really late!"  
  
Harry groaned, but pulled himself out of bed anyway.  
  
"And you want to see Dad eating breakfast, don't you?" Ginny muttered in Harry's ear. "It was ever so kind of you to offer to get some things for breakfast last night, Harry."  
  
Harry suddenly sped up, and hurried downstairs pulling on his transfigured robes. Harry had aimed for a blue T-shirt, but a red shirt would have to do.  
  
Ginny followed quickly, interested to see what Harry had done.  
  
"This is funny coloured milk, isn't it?" Snape asked.  
  
"No," replied Harry. "It looks perfectly normal to me."  
  
Harry deliberately made himself some toast, waiting for his uncle's reaction when he found out what he was eating.  
  
Snape lifted the spoon to his mouth...then put it down again.  
  
"Harry," he said. "I'm sure this is wrong. I thought that milk was supposed to be white, not clear..."  
  
"Dad!" Harry complained, slightly irritated that Snape wouldn't just eat his cereal. "It's fine! Stop complaining!"  
  
"If you say so," said Snape, and he ate the cereal. "Eurgh! What on Earth have you done to it? That's disgusting!"  
  
"Oh, really, Dad," said Harry. He then whispered in Snape's ear. "You'd think that you'd be able to tell the difference between milk and veritaserum, now, wouldn't you?" Harry grinned, and Ginny burst out laughing.  
  
Snape just sat there.  
  
"What is going on here?" Minerva asked, coming out of the bathroom.  
  
"Harry just fed me veritaserum," said Snape, his head lulling forward slightly.  
  
"Harry!" McGonagall cried. "How are we going to take him out now? This whole project revolves around not telling the truth," she hissed, in much the same manner she had last night.  
  
"It wears off in five minutes," Harry argued. "Dad was the one that made it! He must have just forgotten..." Harry smirked.  
  
"Hmm...well, I suppose that's alright, then. But you'd better hope that it wears off when it's supposed to!" Minerva warned. "Or you'll be in serious trouble."  
  
Harry rolled his eyes, but decided to make the most of the situation.  
  
"Sooo...Dad," Harry said, smirking at Snape. "Are you enjoying it here?"  
  
"No," came Snape's reply, sharply.  
  
"How are you getting along with Mum?" Ginny teased.  
  
"I do not know your mother," Snape replied.  
  
Ginny sighed.  
  
"How are you getting on with Minerva, then?" she asked.  
  
"We were up all night together," Snape replied, seriously.  
  
Ginny and Harry gaped.  
  
"Oh, don't be so stupid, Steve," came Minerva's voice from the hall. "Stop winding them up."  
  
"You're no fun," said Snape, putting on a high voice. "And they shouldn't have even had to ask, it's their fault, really," he continued in his normal voice.  
  
"True," said Minerva, smiling at Harry and Ginny. "Now we really do have to go, so hurry up and make sure you ready."  
  
Snape, Harry and Ginny got up from their chairs at the table and got their shoes on.  
  
"Right," said Minerva. "Let's go!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You're so pathetic," Harry accused Snape.  
  
Dumbledore's spell must be wearing off, Harry thought, because Snape managed a light scowl.  
  
"Shut up, won't you?" he bit back.  
  
"Well, stop being so stupid, then," said Harry. "It's only a shopping mall! It's not even a tenth of the size of Hogwarts!"  
  
"But it is so weird," said Ginny, peering around as if she had just entered another dimension.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
  
"You're weird," he said. "Now come on, let's just get this over with."  
  
First, the group entered Debenhams.  
  
"Harry, Ginny, you two go and find swimming costumes. Steve, find yourself some clothes, and I will get us some toiletries. Once you are done, meet back here and I'll give you something else to get." Minerva ordered.  
  
Harry and Ginny headed to the swim-wear department.  
  
"Did Mum tell you what sizes to get?" Harry asked Ginny.  
  
"Yes, just before we left," she replied, staring around the shelves of clothes with a slightly dazed look.  
  
"Oh!" said Harry suddenly. "I have the best idea!"  
  
Harry whispered something into Ginny's ear, and she burst out laughing.  
  
"Oh...oh...Harry...he...he'll kill you!" she managed between fits of giggles.  
  
"But it'll be worth it!" Harry enthused, searching the racks of swimming trunks.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Minerva was just picking out some shampoo, when she heard someone laughing loudly nearby.  
  
Peering around the various hair products, she nearly laughed herself to see Ginny virtually rolling around on the floor in hysterics.  
  
"Uh-oh," Minerva muttered. "Why do I get the feeling that they are planning something." She couldn't help but smile as certain ideas popped to mind of what they might be doing to Snape now.  
  
"I certainly hope your wrong," said a voice in Minerva's ear.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Snape picked himself several black shirts and jeans, then headed back to find the others. He was amused to find Minerva spying on Harry and Ginny from behind the shampoos.  
  
As he approached, he heard Minerva mutter something under her breath.  
  
"Uh-oh," she had said. "Why do I get the feeling that they are planning something."  
  
Snape paused, and suddenly a sense of foreboding crossed his mind.  
  
"I certainly hope you're wrong," he muttered in her ear, making her jump.  
  
"Steve!" she gasped. "You scared me!"  
  
He smirked, then asked "Were you enjoying spying on them, then?"  
  
"I was not spying!" she said indignantly. Snape noticed how pretty she looked, her brown curly hair sweeping around her face, falling out of the ponytail. He shook his head to remove that thought.  
  
"Don't shake your head at me!" she cried angrily.  
  
"You're not arguing again?" Ginny asked incredulously. "Do you ever stop?"  
  
Minerva glared at Snape.  
  
"Right then, now we're all here, I will assign you your second jobs. Harry, can you get cleaning things, I'm sure you know more about cleaning equipment than the rest of us. Ginny, you and I can go and get ourselves some clothes, and Steve, I need you to get some stationary for the home- tutoring...and I need you to pick up some clothes for Harry, as well."  
  
Snape smirked wickedly at Harry, then replied.  
  
"Of course. I will see you back here in 10 minutes, or so," he said, walking off towards the stationary area.  
  
Harry and Ginny left too, Harry looking slightly worried.  
  
"This should be interesting," Minerva muttered to herself, suppressing a grin.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N - The revenge of Snape!  
  
Next chapter, Harry has to go out into the village, and they all decide to go swimming. Also, Dumbledore has a meeting with someone who seems to be heavily involved in the project...  
  
Read the next chapter to find out how!  
  
Review! 


	6. You did WHAT!

A/N - I'm getting annoyed, now, because I have a really good idea for a funny plot, but I can't find anywhere to write it in! If I start to sub-consciously start to rush the story, then tell me, because I probably will rush when I get really annoyed! Hopefully, I will manage to get it into the next chapter!  
  
sk8reagle - I hope it's original. My friend recommended that I put some of my stories on this site last week, so I haven't had much time to scout around, yet! I plan to soon, to see if I can get any pointers or ideas! (Don't worry, I'm not going to copy them!)  
  
ER - Thanks! I will!  
  
Mikee - Three reviews!!! Huge thank you! As for Harry's clothes...I'm trying to find a classic outfit with the help of my friends! If you have any suggestions, I would be very grateful to hear (read) them! I don't know if they'll speak Portuguese...when I went there on holiday I was surprised at the amount of people who spoke fluent English. And mostly, those that didn't speak it fluently spoke English well enough to get by. But maybe I went to a part that was aimed for tourists. I dunno.  
  
SNdReAmer - Another review! Cheers! I hope it is interesting!  
  
Crystaline Snape - Glad you think so!  
  
rusell - (Sorry if it's russell, but it came up with the other one on my screen) Second review! I love you all! Good ideas, by the way. I'll work them into the plot!  
  
MK - Don't worry, Snape's revenge is coming very soon...!  
  
CassandrAIarwen - I will humiliate him, don't worry! (And very pleased that you are enjoying the story!)  
  
Thanks to everyone that's reviewed any chapters, and if I missed anyone I'm SO sorry! It will probably be because some reviews take 24 hours to show, and I usually write them at those intervals, sometimes less, so I might miss some until next chapter. But anyway, those reviews really do help. Thank you very much!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter world, JK Rowling owns it all. Pity. And I think I have to say that Debenhams is a trademark store. And a cold glare from my friend after reading this means that I have to say: A big thank you to all my buddies for helping me come up with ideas. The swimming was Kate's idea, so thank you, Kate!  
  
A Snape Kind of Summer  
  
Chapter 6 - You did WHAT?!  
  
"Sev - Steve," Minerva began, quickly correcting her error.  
  
"Yes, Min - Millie?" Snape joked.  
  
Minerva glared. "You know that doing that could ruin this whole project?" she whispered angrily.  
  
"What? You did it first!" Snape replied defensively. "Anyway, what were you going to say before that?" he asked quickly, noticing the fury bubble in Minerva's eyes.  
  
"Are you backing out of a fight, Steve Smith?" she sneered. "You would never have done that in Portugal."  
  
Snape fought the urge to laugh at Minerva's use of code.  
  
"No," he agreed. "But things are different here, aren't they? I mean, I'm even losing the will to lay into Harry! I think I need therapy, and we've only been here about 20 hours! Not even one day yet!"  
  
Minerva mock-gasped. "You?" she asked. "Losing the will to lay into Harry? You do need therapy!"  
  
Severus grinned evilly. "I said I almost lost the will to lay into Harry. That boy will regret that little stunt he played this morning. He really will."  
  
Minerva looked suspiciously at Severus.  
  
"I hope you haven't got anything too evil planned for him. After all, he is our son," she added, pointedly, thought Snape.  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't dream of harming him ... physically, any way," Severus smirked.  
  
Minerva rolled her eyes.  
  
"Will you ever grow up?" she asked, shaking her head.  
  
"I very much doubt it," Severus replied, smirking again.  
  
"Anyway," said Minerva, remembering suddenly that she needed Severus to do something. "Can you go and pay for everything, please? It's just that Ginny and I need to get some things still, and Harry has been nominated by the rest of us to get some things for leisure time," she said briskly.  
  
"Why couldn't I get that stuff?"  
  
Minerva raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Oh, really," Snape said. "Do you really think that I don't know how to have fun in my spare time?" Minerva said nothing, but her facial expression spoke volumes. "You do, don't you?" he said indignantly.  
  
"I have to go and find Ginny," Minerva said. "We are all meeting in the music shop next door. Come there once you've finished."  
  
She handed him a gold plastic card, and hurried off to meet Ginny.  
  
"But..." Severus began. Minerva disappeared from sight through the crowds. "I don't know how to use these things..."  
  
He looked down at the card.  
  
"I guess it's just you and me," he said to the card.  
  
He heard two girls giggling nearby, and turned to scowl at them. Unfortunately, it was a weak one, because Dumbledore's charm was still in place, and his look no longer supported the scowl, so all in all it was pretty pathetic.  
  
Severus sighed, and headed for the check-out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harry stared at the hundreds of videos in front of him, hardly daring to believe that he had enough money to get at least ten. The house was fully furnished, and there was already a television in there, that had probably been conjured by the wizard family that used to own the house to make it look more muggle-like.  
  
Harry picked out several videos that he thought that he and Ginny would like, then found a few that Minerva would probably enjoy, but was completely stumped at what to get for Severus. He finally settled on a few horror movies, and grinning, he pulled out 'The Full Monty'. He felt certain that Severus would enjoy that...As he headed towards the music store where he was meeting the others, he quickly reached in his bag and switched the videos of 'The Full Monty' and 'Sleepy Hollow' into the wrong boxes.  
  
"Oops!" he muttered quietly, unable to keep the smirk off his face.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As Minerva and Ginny entered the music store, both were amazed.  
  
Ginny had never seen a place so full of young people before, and jam-packed with muggle CDs.  
  
Minerva hadn't really realized how far the muggle world had come since she had last stayed in it - until now.  
  
Both stared around the store, when they heard a voice call them.  
  
"Harry!" called Ginny happily. "Have you got everything?"  
  
"Yep," said Harry. "I got board games, Playstation games, computer games and videos." The corners of Harry's lips twitched. "And I still can't believe that the family left all that behind! I mean, Playstations are really expensive!"  
  
"Well," Minerva muttered into Harry and Ginny's ears. "I suppose they just wanted to prove that they were muggles - which they weren't, of course - but wizards can be very protective over their identities to muggles..."  
  
Someone cleared their throat loudly from behind them.  
  
"Are you Mrs Smith by any chance?" the man asked.  
  
"Um...yes, I am," Minerva replied, looking confused.  
  
"Please come this way," the man said, leading her, Harry and Ginny back into Debenhams again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Honestly!" Minerva directed at a blushing Severus. Yes, Severus was actually blushing. "I don't think I have ever been so embarrassed in my life!"  
  
"Well how was I supposed to know what to do with a stupid little bit of plastic!" Snape replied angrily.  
  
"I told you last night!" Minerva hissed. "And they were reluctant to even believe that you were foreign! I cannot believe that you didn't even listen when Albus and I explained it all!"  
  
"I was tired!" Severus frowned. "You'd been speaking for ages!"  
  
Minerva huffed, and Harry and Ginny rolled their eyes in the back seat.  
  
They were in the car on the way back, and Harry and Ginny were still fuming that Severus had announced that they would have to start studying tomorrow, so that they had time to do a few muggle exercises over term-time.  
  
"Why on Earth would we want to do that?" Ginny had exclaimed upon hearing Severus' announcement.  
  
"Because you will have people asking to see what you have been doing, and you need some muggle work to show for it!" Severus had hissed back. He had been, and still was, in a very bad mood over the whole credit card fiasco.  
  
Currently, Severus was sitting fuming in the front of the car, while Minerva was trying to control her shaking hands so she could drive safely. They were almost home.  
  
Finally, Minerva pulled into the driveway, and stormed into the house to make dinner.  
  
"Insufferable witch," Severus muttered under his breath.  
  
"I didn't know you liked mum!" Harry cried. Then he tilted his head, realizing how odd that must have sounded to an outsider of the conversation.  
  
Severus pressed his hand over Harry's mouth.  
  
"Could you possibly have said that any louder?" he hissed angrily, removing his hand.  
  
Ginny giggled, and Harry raised his eyebrows, accepting Severus' challenge.  
  
"Yes," he replied, then he pulled in a deep breath, about to yell.  
  
Once again, Severus put a hand firmly over Harry's mouth, and quickly steered him inside the cottage. He vaguely noticed a curtain twitch at the house of number 6. Muttering about nosy neighbours, Severus entered the kitchen behind Harry and Ginny.  
  
'Damn,' he thought, angrily. 'Why did I have to go and give Harry something to blackmail me with?! And why am I calling him Harry? I meant Potter. Stupid Harry. Argh! Stupid Potter!' he corrected himself mentally, shaking his head trying to dislodge the irritating conversation going on in his mind.  
  
Whilst Severus' internal battle was going on, across the road at number 6, the elderly lady at the window spoke.  
  
"I would love to see their faces if they knew that I knew who they were...I'm surprised at how well Severus is doing, actually. A rubbish liar..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N - Did you like it? Sorry to leave it on a cliff-hanger, and I'm going on holiday for two weeks tomorrow. KIDDING! I'll update tomorrow, don't worry (if you were)! This was slightly longer than the others, but I think that now we're getting into the main plot, the chapters will get longer. I hope you don't mind!  
  
Please review! 


	7. Of Guests and Potions

A/N - So long as I don't ramble on too long (as I did in the last chapter) I should get my plot idea into this chapter, so I'll try not to make it too long.  
  
russell - I'll be as fast as I can - I hope you get to read this before you leave, as I'm in England so the time difference might mean that you miss out. I'll hurry!  
  
sk8reagle - Damn you! How did you know?! I hope no one reads your review! Well, you find out in this chapter anyway, so yes. But she's not alone... And thanks for all of your reviews! I've only just started to post, so ff.net is the only site so far, but I'm in the process of starting up a yahoo group or something to post my stuff on. I will also probably post some on my website, so when I get around to it, then I'll let you know! Thanks for showing an interest!  
  
MK - I completely agree *smirks evilly*  
  
SNdReAmer - Thanks a million!!!!!!!!! I love getting reviews, but don't read them, because then you'll know who the woman is! And that's cheating! Very glad you like the story!  
  
Thanks to everyone that's reviewed any chapters, and if I missed anyone I'm SO sorry! It will probably be because some reviews take 24 hours to show, and I usually write them at those intervals, sometimes less, so I might miss some until next chapter. But anyway, those reviews really do help. Thank you very much!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter world, JK Rowling owns it all. Pity. And I think I have to say that Debenhams is a trademark store. And a cold glare from my friend after reading this means that I have to say: A big thank you to all my buddies for helping me come up with ideas. The swimming was Kate's idea, so thank you, Kate!  
  
This chapter is coming up doubly fast for russell, so I hope you get to read it on time!  
  
A Snape Kind of Summer  
  
Chapter 7 - Of Guests and Potions  
  
"Up!" called Snape, pouring a spurt of water out of the tip of his wand over Harry and Ginny.  
  
Harry yelled, and jumped out of bed.  
  
With an ear-splitting shriek, Ginny leapt up and whipped out her wand.  
  
Both Harry and Snape jumped backwards.  
  
"Oops...sorry," Ginny mumbled shyly, putting her wand away.  
  
Snape heaved a sigh of relief.  
  
"Well," he said. "When you finally calm down, I want you to come down quickly and have breakfast. Lessons start in 15 minutes, so you'll have to be quick."  
  
Harry and Ginny groaned, but did as they were told.  
  
Down at the breakfast table, Minerva was constructing a timetable.  
  
"On Mondays, it's Arithmancy and Potions. Tuesdays, Charms and Divination. Wednesdays, Muggle Studies and Astronomy, we'll have to use a model planet system. Thursdays, we'll have Transfiguration and Herbology. Which means that on Friday we have Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Ancient Runes. We wont be able to do Care of Magical Creatures, it's too risky. In Transfiguration, we will be able to do Animagus Studies if they study hard enough during the rest of the year, because I believe them both capable enough. In Charms, we may be able to train them to Apparate, and then they can take the test when this is all over. They can register their Animagus forms when we get back, as well." Minerva paused, seemingly becoming aware of someone nearby.  
  
As if sensing her unease, there was a knock at the door.  
  
"Hello? How can I help you?" she asked as she opened the door. A young woman stood there smiling at her.  
  
"Hello, I live at number 3, and I just popped over to say 'Welcome to the neighbourhood' so there, I've said it! I brought the traditional basket, and everything," she added, smiling shyly.  
  
Minerva returned the smile.  
  
"Would you like to come in for a cup of tea? Or coffee?" She asked.  
  
"That would be lovely!" the woman replied. "If it's not too much trouble..." she added, peering around the door.  
  
"No, it's fine," Minerva replied, waving a hand casually. "We're all done unpacking."  
  
The woman smiled gratefully, then clapped a hand to her mouth. Minerva panicked suddenly, wondering if she had left her wand somewhere obvious.  
  
"I'm sorry!" the woman cried. "You must think I'm so rude! My name is Hilary Thompson, by the way."  
  
Minerva sighed, very relieved, but still checking for her wand, just in case.  
  
"No, it's fine, I didn't introduce myself or my family either," she replied, smiling again. "My name is Millie Smith, and here is my husband," she motioned to Severus, who was curiously coming down the stairs with Harry and Ginny in tow. "Steve Smith. And these are my children, Harry and Ginny. They're twins, if you hadn't guessed."  
  
"Oh, they're lovely!" Hilary exclaimed. "Ginny looks just like you, Millie. And Harry and Steve could almost pass as identical twins!"  
  
Minerva had to admit that she was right. Severus really wasn't that tall, it was just the way he used to loom... it really used to make her laugh, how terrified the students were of him.  
  
"Um...thanks!" Minerva said cheerfully, not quite sure how to respond to this. She hoped that Ginny and Harry weren't too annoyed with Hilary for patronizing them, because she had taken a liking to the woman, and she doubly hoped that Severus was not irritated, because he would make sure that this woman's life was hell for the next year. "Tea or coffee?" she asked brightly, leading Hilary into the kitchen. She was grateful to Harry and Ginny, who both smiled happily at Hilary, then lead Severus down to the cellar for their Arithmancy lesson.  
  
"Where are they off to then?" Hilary asked lightheartedly. Minerva shook their head.  
  
"Steve's a bit...studious...so he's starting them early on their home tutoring. He'll probably give them plenty of days off during the term time, though. If he has one weakness, it's his lack of resolution where the kids are involved," she lied. She wanted to make Severus seem at least human to Hilary.  
  
"Am I now?" a voice from behind them said. Severus came around from behind Minerva, and wrapped his arms around her waist uncomfortably after a look of encouragement from Hilary.  
  
"Oh, hello, dear," Minerva said, trying to stop herself from crying out, then giggling at the uncomfortable look on Severus' face, and the look of satisfaction from Hilary. A romantic, then, thought Minerva. This will be amusing.  
  
"Well, I best be off, the kids are really actually eager for me to start Arith-"  
  
"Maths," Minerva corrected quickly. "Arithmetic is such an old-fashioned name, Steve!" she added, to convince Hilary.  
  
"Er...of course," Severus said, catching on. "Sorry, slip of the tongue," he continued, more for Minerva's benefit than Hilary's. "I'll be off, now, then! Bye!" he said to Hilary.  
  
"Oh, he's such a gentleman!" Hilary exclaimed excitedly. Minerva tried not to scoff. "So polite!"  
  
"Yes, I think that's why I fell for him," Minerva lied, thoroughly enjoying this conversation.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Now," Severus began. "this potion is fairly complicated, so I have asked for Minerva's assistance."  
  
Harry muttered something about excuses, and Ginny held a hand over her mouth to stop herself from giggling. Severus glared at the pair of them.  
  
"Now roll your sleeves up, and we'll get started," he continued, still glaring at Harry and Ginny.  
  
Harry rolled up the sleeves of his new plain dark green jumper. He was surprised, he thought that Severus was going to get something really dreadful. Apparently, he had underestimated his taste of clothes.  
  
Severus scowled. The spell had almost completely worn off, because he had managed a heavy scowl with the least pain he had experienced so far. He had hoped that Harry would be embarrassed by his clothes. He had deliberately got him brightly coloured jumpers, but Harry appeared not to care.  
  
"Right. Today we will be attempting a pregnancy potion, but we will not be adding the DNA. To start, open the textbooks we took from Hogwarts to page 435." Harry, Ginny, Minerva and Severus all opened their text books. "Right, now get out the ingredients listed. Good. So first, add your powdered unicorn horn. Yes, like that. Seeing as we are working in pairs, Harry, you will have to split the jobs, so you both do the same amount of work. Yes, well done. Now Ginny, stir clockwise 10 times. Correct." Severus continued like this, until Harry and Minerva were the ones working on the Potions.  
  
"Right," Severus said. "Millie and Harry, you will have to add your DNA - a hair, yes - let the potions simmer for two minutes, and Ginny, you and I will have to cast the incantation once the others have started to stir again."  
  
Ginny's eyes bugged.  
  
"You mean I am expected to cast the spell exactly on time? I'll never manage that!" she complained.  
  
"You will, you just have to have confidence," Minerva said, whilst standing close to her and Severus' cauldron.  
  
"Absolutely," agreed Severus. "Now the incantation is 'Fergio Homotus'. We have about 20 seconds remaining, so stand ready. Millie, if you stand between the two cauldrons, you can clear up without impregnating yourself in the case of an emergency," he said quickly, trying to finish before the time limit. "3...2...1..."  
  
"Fergio Homotus!" Ginny and Severus yelled, their voices reverberating off of the walls.  
  
Unfortunately, at the same time, Minerva sneezed. Ginny's spell missed the cauldron, but Snape quickly cast a second spell on Harry and Ginny's cauldron just in the time limit.  
  
Unfortunately again, the spell Ginny misfired hit Harry in the stomach, and Harry went flying forward, knocking both cauldrons across the room. The contents of the two cauldrons landed on Ginny and Severus' head.  
  
"No!" yelled Severus. "We're doomed!"  
  
Harry chuckled.  
  
"It can't be that bad! At least the potion is dark blue, it wont show up. You're so fussy!"  
  
"Harry," Minerva said gently, pulling him back from a mutinous looking Severus. "The potion was cast upon them. It will have mixed with their hair..."  
  
"But..." Ginny began. "We can't be...pregnant." She finished, looking absolutely terrified.  
  
"I'm afraid we are," sighed Snape, looking increasingly irritated. "Millie, could you pass me that towel?" he asked, forcing himself to remain calm, at least for now. As he reached across, Minerva got a smudge of the goo on her arm.  
  
"Yuck! Steve! Wipe my arm!" Severus turned around, then looked absolutely horror-struck. "Oh..." Minerva trailed off, and swore loudly. "Why didn't you warn me?" she asked angrily. "The final substance is supposed to be quickly absorbed quickly! I just assumed it was an incomplete part! Now what are we going to do?"  
  
"It is only supposed to be used in moderation! We had a cauldron of it on our heads!" Severus cried back.  
  
"But you should have warned me! I wouldn't have come near you if I'd known you were going to get me pregnant!" Both her and Severus flushed red, while Harry and Ginny laughed at how funny that sounded. The neighbours must be having a field day.  
  
"At least you're a woman!" Harry argued for Snape, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. "Think of Dad! He's not going to be able to leave the house!" Minerva bit her lip, but smiled slightly, and even Ginny managed a small giggle.  
  
"What are we going to tell my parents?" she asked quietly. "They're going to kill me." She looked at Harry. "They're going to kill you, too."  
  
"Well, don't worry, at least they'll know it was only a potion," Severus smirked as Harry and Ginny blushed. "Besides, they wont find out until next year..." Ginny joined Severus at grinning at the thought of her arriving home, carrying a young baby.  
  
"What am I going to say? 'Oh, hi! I missed you all so much! And by the way, this is my child!'?"  
  
Everyone laughed.  
  
"Well, actually, this probably isn't the time to say it, but I think Millie is the only one that will be having a child..." Ginny frowned, confused. "Erm...I think that because of the amount of the potion we took in, we will probably have twins at least." He sighed. "This is going to be hell, isn't it?"  
  
"For you!" Harry smirked. "This is going to be brilliant. Er, how exactly do you give birth...?" he asked Severus, carefully.  
  
"I...er...ought to read up on that," he commented awkwardly. "I don't really know the details..." he pulled a disgusted face. "But the baby...babies... will come out of my...er...stomach. An incision will have to be made, and the babies will come out..." Harry suddenly felt rather ill. He put a hand over his mouth to stop him from gagging. "Which I will need someone to do..." he looked at Harry. "You are the only one that is not pregnant... the rest of us will be giving birth..." Harry greened further. "The timing is very precise in potion pregnancies...don't gag! We're the ones that will be suffering! And make sure you learn how to brew a numbing potion before you start cutting me up!"  
  
Minerva shuddered.  
  
"This is definitely not going to be pleasant. Well, I suggest that Ginny, Steve and I go and take a Harry...I'd rather not risk Harry joining us...Steve! Who will slice your stomach if Harry's not able to?"  
  
Severus put a hand protectively over his stomach; "Don't say it like that! I'm feeling awful now! Yuck! This is going to be pure hell!"  
  
"Too right!" said Harry. "Now go and shower before you infect me!" Harry dodged the others and scampered up the stairs.  
  
"How on Earth is he going to father a child?!" Ginny laughed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Dear Merlin," Dumbledore muttered. The witch that lived across at number 6 nodded. "Very well, you still must not reveal your identity to them."  
  
"Of course not, Albus," she replied. "We shall keep an eye on them all. Luckily no one overheard their little dilemma. I checked for any magic performed on the house or the room. I just had to Obliviate a few of the neighbours, nothing major."  
  
"Very well. How are you three holding up?" Dumbledore asked the witch.  
  
"Fine, thank you," she replied. "Remus is desperate to talk to Harry, and so is Hermione, but they'll adjust. How is Ronald managing without his two best friends? Was it really wise to leave him out?"  
  
"Don't worry about Ronald," Dumbledore assured. "His dorm-mates are getting along fine with him. I would say that this is all doing him a favour, in the long run. Although I think he may be a little disappointed about not getting invited on the 'extra-curricular Defense course' that Hermione, Harry and Ginny are attending. I'm sure he'll survive, though, and if all goes well, then he will know the truth when you all come back." Dumbledore smiled at the face in his fireplace.  
  
Without warning, the witch sniffed the air.  
  
"Something's burning...Remus!" she shouted. "I knew I shouldn't have let you do the cooking! Is that all, professor? I really think I ought to go.." the young witch said.  
  
"Do go, then. But remember to take the aging potion before Severus recognizes you. You may resume your normal form like now, when you're at home, but don't slip up. I trust Remus and Hermione are getting used to their new looks? Luckily I did not have to change you're first names, as I understand it, the others are finding it rather tricky. Well, anyway, I shall let you go, Ms Partridge," Dumbledore chuckled at the 'family's' chosen name. He was glad to hear that they were all fairing well, even will the little...incident.  
  
"I'm sure that everything will be fine," the witch said confidently. "Goodbye, Albus."  
  
"Goodbye, Arabella."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N - Dear Merlin! I honestly did not mean for that to go on so long! I hope you get to read this before you go on your cruise, russell! If not, a large amount of reading will be there for you when you get back!  
  
I hope you all liked it!  
  
Please review with your thoughts and ideas! 


	8. Accidentally Right

A/N -*Hides* I'm sorry! I haven't updated in over 5 months! And I'll be honest, I haven't had any accidents, family crises, illnesses, school biggies, or anything like that. I just couldn't stand the thought of writing more - I was too close to getting to hate this story, which I didn't want to do. I needed a VERY long break, and I took it. I'm now back on track, so no more disappearing acts for me! Also, you can check out my new canon fic - it's untitled at the moment, which I need help with...  
  
As this story is no longer canon, I don't have to worry about making it at all canon, so I'm going to write this how I want, which should be liberating! Sorry if you see flaws, but it's too late to change it all now - that Pensieve scene really put paid to this idea!  
  
Now, onto the many reviews you wonderful people left me!  
  
athenakitty - Nothing much about the pregnancies in this chappie, I'm afraid. But stay tuned, it's all into the nitty gritty into the next few chapters. Hey have to work out who's baby is whose soon, as it could get a bit... eurgh.  
  
lulu - I know I should! And this one is pathetic! But I want to get this up so you all know I'm alive, then the longer ones will come!  
  
Anja - It was only a jokey-threat. You're right, that was clumsy. I should get a beta for my stories! I'm glad you like it!  
  
TiggerGirl1 - Thanks! And I am! Even if it is a little belated...  
  
CassandraAIarwen - NO! He didn't want to make Harry pregnant - yuck! No, it was just curriculum. In a twisted, peculiar type of way! And I don't intend to make Harry and Snape have a kid, don't worry... urgh, I feel sick! How gross would that be?  
  
Mikee - How did you all guess?! It isn't fair!!!  
  
russell - I'm glad you got to read it, and I'm sorry you didn't come back to anything! I'm very evil! But I'm back on track, now!  
  
azntgr01 - I'm sorry. You had to wait five months... but I'm really, really pleased you liked it!  
  
Crystaline Snape - Hehe, that will be funny! I'll have to be careful, though... it's a very thin line between amusing and disgusting...  
  
MK in La La Land - Yup!  
  
Culf - Keep reading ;)  
  
SNdReAmer - Bum. How?! I'll have to be less obvious next time...  
  
epholge - I'm sorry! Thanks, though!  
  
Bookwyrm - I will go into that in more depth later, but I want to introduce it naturally. It'll be when they start to question that themselves, which will be when things start to get hard. It's going to be all right to start, so that may be a while, sorry!  
  
BookMaster3000 - It serves him right, doesn't it? He'll think twice about being an evil whatsit next time...  
  
alamarang - Does that answer your questions?;) I'm glad you liked it so far, and if you're into H/G fics... well, I'm glad you said that because I was thinking of changing that...  
  
KittenBabyGirl - I did hurry... kind of... last night, I was writing like a maniac! I have so many reviews to answer, this is a pretty short chapter... sorry (  
  
watu11 - I'm really sorry! (  
  
Saerelle - Well, these chapters are going to be much longer... you should see chapter 9! It's over 5000 words! I may have to split it...  
  
The_Brainless_Wonderr - You'll see!  
  
Mikee - Those questions will be answered in the next few chapters. Honest!  
  
cinnamin_girl - I hope it is... not so much this time, but next few chapters... you should like them!  
  
starmoon1 - It is great fun to write! And I'm going to have a lot more fun with it soon....  
  
vesu - Stay tuned for all of the answers!  
  
Star06 - At least I updated eventually!!  
  
ObSidian10 - Yep, I will!  
  
Snidget_aka_Snitch - It's terrible, I haven't updated in OVER 5 MONTHS! I don't know how you do it!  
  
Thanks to everyone that's reviewed any chapters, and if I missed anyone I'm SO sorry! It will probably be because some reviews take 24 hours to show, and I usually write them at those intervals, sometimes less, so I might miss some until next chapter. But anyway, those reviews really do help. Thank you very much!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter world, JK Rowling owns it all. Pity. And I think I have to say that Debenhams is a trademark store. And a cold glare from my friend after reading this means that I have to say: A big thank you to all my buddies for helping me come up with ideas. The swimming was Kate's idea, so thank you, Kate!  
  
This chapter is coming up doubly fast for russell, so I hope you get to read it on time!  
  
A Snape Kind of Summer  
  
Chapter 8 - Accidentally Right  
  
If anyone were to look in through the window of number 6, they would see a young girl - perhaps 15 years old - sitting at a small desk doing her homework. This would probably seem normal to others, apart from the look of great enjoyment etched on her face.  
  
"Hermione!"  
  
A tall man with greying hair had walked into the room. This was presumably her father.  
  
"Yes, Papa?" A look of pure innocence spread across the girl's face. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Don't you try the innocent with me, I've lived as a muggle before, and Ara- your grandmother has been living as a muggle for the past 14 years! Don't think we won't notice when you rearrange our fridge!"  
  
Hermione looked disappointed. "Oh, well," she sighed. "It was worth a try."  
  
Little did she know that her best friend was being plotted against across the road, with much more to worry about than Veritaserum-milk.  
  
~*~  
  
"STEVE!" Minerva yelled. "How could you! The poor boy can't go out like that! Well, you're just going to have to go out and get him a new outfit... I'll give you the credit card..."  
  
This statement seemed to have the desired effect, as Minerva's face lit up in a smile, as her 'husband' jumped out of his chair in protest, the smirk lifted from his face.  
  
"No! I'll Transfig-"  
  
"Don't you dare say it," Minerva hissed. "And you know full well that muggle clothes don't have the strength to be... altered... they'd fall apart!"  
  
A smirk found it's way on to Snape's face again. "Maybe we could..."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Mum," Ginny whined. "I'm not going out with him looking like that! He'll look ridiculous!"  
  
"What?" Harry asked confused. "What's the problem?"  
  
"The problem, Harry, is that your father thought it would be amusing to buy your outfit... and he's got the most stupid things I have ever seen!"  
  
A wave of fear washed over Harry. He cautiously approached the carrier bag, and lifted out the first item. A pair of dark denim jeans. Then the second: a blue T-shirt with graffiti all over it. At this point, Snape snorted, evidently pleased with himself. And Harry suddenly realised: Snape had tried, and failed, to pick out the worst possible outfit. His only mistake being that he had picked out clothes at the height of muggle fashion.  
  
"Well, thanks, Dad!" Harry beamed. Snape's grin lifted, and Harry beamed. "How did you know that this was exactly what's in fashion here in England - we've been living in Portugal!"  
  
Minerva burst out laughing, and Snape scowled. "I didn't know..." He muttered under his breath. "Or I wouldn't have bought them!"  
  
Ginny just wrinkled her nose. "Muggles wear that stuff?" she asked. "I don't want to wear that!"  
  
"This is what boys wear, Gin," Harry told her. "So you'll have to."  
  
Ginny thumped him. "Well, that's it," she huffed. "You're going out to get my maternity clothes!"  
  
Minerva and Snape both roared with laughter, and Harry flushed. "What I meant," he corrected is that... you don't have to wear them at all! Anyway, you have your own clothes." A sense of dead washed over him. Did they really have no clue about muggle clothes? "Um... what, exactly, did you buy?"  
  
Ginny pulled out a long denim skirt and a flowery shirt, first. Harry quickly binned the shirt. "No, that has got to go," Harry said hastily, peering out of the window to make sure no one saw. Ginny then brought out a few plain vest tops, and a couple of pairs of jeans. Harry left those, quite relieved that there weren't more flowery monsters. Then, as if reading his mind, a pink, flowery dress came out. That, too, was quickly gone. Finally, several tank tops and pairs of shorts, jeans and cut-offs later, (plus a couple of thrown away dresses) Ginny brought out her final item. It was a sparkling pink dress with glitter seemingly all over it. It flowed nicely, obviously made of silk. Harry reached over to it, ready to bin the "horrible, pink thing," as Snape had put it.  
  
"No!" Minerva cried, leaping across the room with surprising speed and agility. "For special... occasions..." she panted, grabbing the dress from Harry's grip.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes, not showing his surprise at Minerva's girlie side. He really hadn't expected it of her.  
  
Snape was now looking murderous. Well, he was obviously trying to anyway, because his face was crumpled into a light frown. Ginny giggled. The frown deepened. Ginny shut up. Snape hadn't managed to make anyone look stupid, and he was positive that Harry had picked him something humiliating to wear. He just knew it.  
  
"Well," Minerva said, looking disappointedly at the pretty clothes stuffed into a bin liner. Harry had a sneaking suspicion that they would be found later on, hidden somewhere in Minerva's closet. "We need to show our faces at some point in the village, so how about Ginny and Harry go gross-ery shopping in the village-"  
  
"Grocery," Ginny corrected her. Harry stared. "Oh, I did muggle studies," she added.  
  
"Yes, that, then perhaps we could all go out in the afternoon. No, don't worry Steve, not shopping."  
  
"Swimming!" Harry and Ginny crowed.  
  
"That's a good idea," Minerva agreed. "Well, be back soon, won't you? Remember, this adaptation of the spell will allow people to see you, but magic will rebound off of you, even friendly spells, when you're out of the house, so don't go casting any, however subtle you think you're being."  
  
"Yes, Mum," Ginny and Harry chorused dully.  
  
They both went upstairs to change, and came down fifteen minutes later, in their new outfits.  
  
"What do you think?" Ginny asked Minerva, giving a twirl.  
  
"Oh, that looks beautiful!" Minerva gushed. She was evidently not used to seeing girls in such flattering outfits.  
  
Harry and Snape both rolled their eyes, muttering something about 'girl's stuff'.  
  
Harry and Ginny carefully tucked their wand up their sleeves, just in case, and left the house.  
  
It was a rather hot day, and Harry soon took off the hooded sweater he had brought. Ginny looked perfectly cool in her new sun-dress she had insisted on wearing. Harry rolled his eyes at her. She stuck out her tongue.  
  
As they passed number 6, they saw the curtain drop. They exchanged nervous glances, each making a mental note to tell Minerva and Snape when they got back. Something fishy was going on, and those neighbours of theirs had been acting very strangely.  
  
Just as Harry and Ginny were watching the house, the front door opened. They jumped back, and continued down the road, doing a very poor job of pretending they weren't watching for who it was. A young girl had stepped out, with slightly wavy dark brown hair, and big brown eyes to match. She had a pretty face, which lit up when she saw them.  
  
"Hello!" she called. "You must be the people who have just moved in across the road. My name is Harriet Lupin - who are you?"  
  
~*~  
  
I could have written more, but I figured I should just get this written ASAP. It shouldn't be too long till the next chapter comes out. And I mean it this time!  
  
I'm so sorry, please review! 


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